Navigating the digital world: reflections and tips on cyberbullying

In today's hyper-connected world, our online experiences can be both exciting and challenging. While the internet offers incredible opportunities for learning, connecting, and sharing, it also comes with risks – one of the most significant being cyberbullying.

For young people navigating this digital landscape, it's crucial that they arm themselves with knowledge, strategies, and support to combat cyberbullying effectively.

Since 2013, Optus Digital Thumbprint has educated over 620,000 young people across Australia. We spoke to long-time in-classroom program facilitator, Dom Phelan about his experiences and asked him for some tips for young people to stay safe online.

You’ve been facilitating in classrooms for over 10 years.  What’s changed?

The entire landscape of teaching has changed. Teachers now pay more attention to students' well-being and emotional development, to create more supportive learning environments. However, cyberbullying has gotten worse. It’s as simple as that.

Cyberbullying is a consistent issue.  Why is that?

Social media is here to stay. Mobile phones have almost become a necessity. And with anonymity and distance provided by online platforms, people can hide behind screens. They feel emboldened to say whatever they want and hide behind the “Free Speech” mantra. And we know, the internet can amplify the spread of hurtful messages, and hate speech reaching a much larger audience in a shorter time frame than traditional forms of bullying. Only now we have more immediate consequences for Cyberbullying. But we also need to encourage more people to report it. It's a complex issue, but with more education, such as through the Digital Thumbprint workshops and resources for families, and community awareness, and with Governments enforcing stricter policies on social media platforms, we can and support people to have a safer experience online.

What is cyberbullying?  Is it just on the internet?

It’s what we call the three “Ons” – Online, Ongoing and On Purpose. So, it’s not just social media. It covers emails, texting, and online gaming. But cyberbullying can lead to in-person confrontations, exclusion from social groups, or other forms of harassment in the real world. It can also have serious consequences for victims, including emotional distress, depression, anxiety, and even suicide in extreme cases.

What can young people do if they see someone being cyberbullied?

First of all, support the victim. If you see something, say something. Offer support and encouragement. Let them know they're not alone and that you're there to help. Report the bullying: report it to the app, eSafety Commissioner and to a trusted adult. And above all else, encourage kindness, empathy, and respect in online interactions. Stand up against cyberbullying by promoting a culture of inclusivity and support within your friends and online communities.

What can young people do if they are being bullied?

There are a few steps to take.

• Stay calm and safe: If possible, remove yourself from the situation or environment where the bullying is taking place. It's essential to prioritise your safety and well-being.
• Talk to someone: Reach out to a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, wellbeing coordinator or another supportive figure. Share your experience with them and ask for their guidance and assistance in dealing with the bullying.
• Keep evidence: Document any instances of bullying, including screenshots of online harassment, saved messages, or notes detailing the incidents. This evidence can be helpful if you decide to report the bullying to authorities or school officials.
• Block and report: Block the person or people involved and report their behaviour to the relevant platform administrators or moderators, and to the eSafety Commissioner if the content isn’t removed.
• Stay positive: Surround yourself with supportive friends and engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Building a strong support network can help you cope with the effects of bullying and boost your resilience.
• Know your rights: Familiarise yourself with your school's policies and procedures regarding bullying and harassment. You have the right to feel safe and supported in your learning environment, and schools have a responsibility to address and prevent bullying.

What are some of the signs of cyberbullying that a parent should look for?

There are several signs that could indicate your child is being cyberbullied.  Look out for:

• Emotional distress: Sudden changes in mood or behaviour, such as increased irritability, sadness, anxiety, or withdrawal, can be indicators of cyberbullying.
• Avoiding Technology: If your child suddenly becomes reluctant to use their computer, smartphone, or other devices, it could be a sign that they're being bullied online. They may avoid certain apps or social media platforms where the bullying is occurring.
• Changes in sleep or eating habits: Cyberbullying can disrupt your child's sleep patterns or appetite. Look for signs of insomnia, nightmares, or changes in eating habits that could indicate emotional distress
• Decline in school performance: Bullying, whether online or offline, can impact a child's ability to concentrate and perform well in school. If you notice a sudden decline in your child's academic performance or motivation, it's worth investigating further.
• Social withdrawal: Cyberbullying can cause children to withdraw from social activities, both online and in person. They may become hesitant to interact with peers, avoid social gatherings, or lose interest in hobbies and extracurricular activities.

How can parents educate themselves and their children on how to respond to cyberbullying?

Parenting can have its challenges. But we can help our kids feel safer and more confident online.

• Stay informed: Keep yourself updated on the latest trends and technologies related to cyberbullying. Start using the apps your kids use. Play the video games your kids play. We need to understand their world and their interests.
• Start conversations: Initiate open and ongoing discussions with your kids about cyberbullying. Encourage them to share their experiences, concerns, and questions about online interactions. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable talking to you about any issues they encounter online.
• Teach digital literacy: Educate your kids about responsible online behaviour, including how to protect their privacy, interact respectfully with others online, and recognise and respond to cyberbullying. Teach them to think about the encounter potential impact of their own actions online.

Many children are now getting their own tablets and phones in early primary school.  How do you set boundaries for safety online?

We must set crystal clear rules when using tablets and phones, including when and where they can use them, how much time they can spend online, and what activities are permitted. Make sure your child understands and agrees to these rules.

Use parental controls: Take advantage of parental control features available on devices and internet browsers to restrict access to inappropriate content, set time limits for screen time, and monitor their online activities. For example, Optus Pause allows families to manage their time online. Familiarise yourself with the parental control settings on your child's devices and customise them to meet your family's needs. Make sure you know their passcode for their own device.

Supervise their online activities: Monitor your child's online activities regularly, especially when they are young and still learning to navigate the digital world. Co-view or co-play with your child when they are using tablets and phones and engage in conversations about what they are doing and seeing online.

Set screen-free zones and times: Designate certain areas of your home, such as bedrooms or mealtime areas, as screen-free zones where devices are not allowed. Establish screen-free times, such as during family meals or before bedtime, to encourage offline activities and promote better sleep hygiene. DO NOT let your kids have devices in their bedroom at night.

Lead by example: This is a hard one because monkey see-monkey do! Whether we like it or not, Parents must model healthy screen habits for our kids by demonstrating responsible and balanced use of technology. Limit your own screen time, prioritise face-to-face interactions, and engage in activities that don't involve screens.

How many hours a day should my child be online?

As a parent myself this can be a really difficult thing to monitor. I have a 14-year-old and a 10-year-old, so my wife and I try to set consistent limits on screen time, so it does not interfere with other important activities such as sleep, physical activity, and face-to-face interactions. According to all the experts, the specific amount of screen time allowed can vary depending on the child's age, individual needs, and family circumstances. We try and encourage the kids to have a break every 30 minutes to give their eyes a rest.

What are some healthy habits for screentime?

• Set limits: Establish clear limits on the amount of screen time allowed each day for different activities, such as entertainment, education, and socialising. Use tools like timers or parental controls to help enforce these limits. 
• Take breaks: Encourage regular breaks from screens to rest your eyes, stretch your body, and engage in other activities. Follow the 20-20-20 rule: every 20 minutes, take a 20-second break and look at something 20 feet away to reduce eye strain. 
• Prioritise offline activities: Balance screen time with other activities that promote physical, mental, and social well-being, such as exercise, reading, hobbies, and spending time with family and friends. Make sure screens don't dominate your leisure time. 
• Create screen-free zones and times: Designate certain areas of your home, such as bedrooms or dining areas, where devices are not allowed. The dinner table in our house is a screen-free zones and the TV is off as well during dinner time. This actually does help promote better sleep and family communication. 
• Set a bedtime routine: Start a bedtime routine that includes winding down without screens at least an hour before bed. Blue light emitted by screens can disrupt sleep patterns, so avoiding screens before bedtime can help you relax and prepare for sleep.

By incorporating these healthy habits into your screen time routine, you can enjoy the benefits of technology while minimising the negative effects of excessive or unhealthy screen use.

Dom Phelan has delivered over 4,000 Optus Digital Thumbprint workshops in schools for over 10 years, educating more than 165,000 students on digital safety and wellbeing. Since 2013 the free program has educated over620,000. Optus Digital Thumpbring is endorsed by the Office of the eSafety Commissioner as a Trusted eSafety Provider program.

Digital Thumbprint Resources

For young people

• Blocking unwanted contact guide
• Cyberbullying quiz
• Cyberbullying: what to do when things go wrong guide
• Digital Balance quiz
• Fake friends and fake profiles quiz
• Hackers, scammers and fake friends guide
• Lifehacks for a balanced time online guide
• Passphrases, passwords and MFA guide and quiz
• Protecting personal information quiz
• Scammers and fake friends quiz

For Families

• Balancing time online guide
• Blocking unwanted contact for your child guide
• Cyberbullying: What to say when things go wrong online guide
• First Phone Readiness guide and quiz
• Passphrases, passwords and MFA for your child guide
• Recognising hackers, scammers and fake friends guide
• Safeguard your child’s privacy on popular apps and games guide
• Stay ahead of scams through family discussions guide

Further resources

eSafety Commissioner to report cyberbullying, image-based abuse, and illegal and restricted content

Australian Cyber Security Centre - Auto report cybercrime, including online threats and abuse, scams and hacks, data breaches, identity theft and fraud.

Scamwatch to report scams.

Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation to report online grooming and inappropriate contact

IDCARE to get identity theft, data breach, scam and cyber security support.

If your child needs to talk to someone about their feelings or worries, they can contact:

Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 for free, private and confidential 24/7 phone and online counselling services.

13YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7) for a free, private and confidential talk with an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter.

Optus Digital Thumbprint supports digital safety and wellbeing for young people and families. Find out more at www.digitalthumbprint.com.au