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Porgs are Better Than Ewoks and I Won’t Back Down from This

 

 

Image Credit: Valery Sharifulin / TASS /Getty Images


The Last Jedi was great. Action packed and original with stand out performances from Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver and the bittersweet notion that it’s the last time we’ll see Carrie Fisher in her iconic role.

But it was also a divisive film with fans torn over many aspects of Rian Johnson's portrayal of the Star Wars Universe. And while those differences are far ranging, one question burns at the forefront of film culture.

Are Porgs better than Ewoks?

The answer: Yes they are, and I'm not backing down from this.

Warning, spoilers ahead!



Firstly, Porgs are basically a real life thing

We first encounter Porgs nestled in the windblown cliff ledges on Luke's island retreat of the planet Ahch-To. The actual filming of these scenes, in which Rey learns about the force (and herself) under the tutelage of the reticent and reclusive Skywalker all took place on location at Skelling Michael, a big island in Ireland.

After you take a minute to reconcile the fact that there are islands in Ireland you'll be pleased to know that Skellig Michael (also known as Greater Skellig) is home to puffins, probably the world’s cutest (and most delicious, we’ll get to that later) birds. Here’s one of the happy little campers below:


It seems that during filming the whole place was positively overrun with these cute little birds. Rather than remove them in post-production using CGI, the boffins and Lucasfilm & Disney tweaked the little critters into bona-fide Star Wars characters.

Do Ewoks have a cool story like that. I don’t think so?



Second, Porgs stay out of the way

Star Wars is about the galactic battle for good and evil. It's fast paced and action packed, and comic relief works best when it's administered in small doses.

Who wasn't administered in small doses? Ewoks...

In Return of Jedi, The Ewoks battle with Stormtroopers on the moon of Endor. They’re cute and cuddly locals but also badass warriors right in the heart of the conflict. Porgs are in the background, Ewoks try (and fail) to steal the show. Ewoks have nothing to do with the first two films, but by the end of Return of the Jedi, they’re throwing parties for Rebels.

It's also kinda weird watching these furry little guys get blown to bits when they're supposed to be cutesy. I suppose the best I can say about them in this regard is at least they’re not Jar Jar Binks.



Ewoks are responsible for Caravan of Courage

Remember that weird Star Wars made for TV movie where the Ewoks and two kids are pretty much the only characters?


If not, you're in luck. Fortunately, the only spinoffs Porgs are capable of are children’s books. Which is fine.



Porgs are tasty

Ok so this might be a bit contentious, but a Porg, assuming it was real, might taste real good. And hey, Twitter feels the same way.



And the Star Wars Instagram also got in on the action, claiming you can dip Porgs in your hot chocolate.


Would you eat a Porg? Maybe.

Would you eat an Ewok?

Not a chance.

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