Justice League - Who Would be the Last Hero Standing?
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We all know the Justice League make a kick-ass team but who wins if they break up and fight?
What would the world do without the Justice League? For the answer to that question, see: the real world. It’s not always pretty. There are certainly times when we could do with a crack team of superhuman vigilantes to enlighten our days. In some ways, those fictional people of Gotham City and the surrounding universe should think themselves lucky.
In the 2017 blockbuster, Justice League, a band of powered-up heroes unite for the common good. They must thwart the sinister Steppenwolf (not the 1970s Canadian rockers) and once again save a world, which appears to be in need of constant supervision.
Having a shared cause is all good and well but, as most sports fans know, when you put a bunch of big personality ‘star players’ together on the same team, egos can often get in the way of harmony. Team spirit can disappear quickly and all of a sudden everyone is only looking out for themselves.
Here’s a hypothetical scenario. A combination of Steppenwolf’s natural charm, widespread global disillusionment and a pseudo-army of non-existent cyber bot influencers have led to huge areas of the world’s population empathising with the charismatic super villain’s policies on world domination. He schemes to earn enough of the planet’s support that he becomes empowered. Then he’ll wreak devastation upon the Earth.
The demonic scoundrel’s unlikely switch from destroyer to diplomat means only one member of the Justice League can now democratically oppose him. The crew fail to reach an amicable solution. A good ol’ fashioned ‘wrestling-style’ rumble is the only way they can agree to settle their differences.
Possibly the biggest outsider as his talents are self-taught. Bruce Wayne may simply be a human with nifty gadgets but he does have the darkest conscience and a genius strategic mind. Don’t bet against the Dark Knight stooping the lowest in order to grasp control.
The clear bookmakers favourite, Clark Kent has the strongest all-round game with very limited weaknesses. His journalism background also gives him the psychological edge as he can uncover any sordid scandals on his rivals that might threaten their confidence and public perception.
This pre-apocalyptic ‘Hunger Games’-style environment plays right into Diana Prince’s hands. The Amazing Amazon is a dominant hunter and a master of strategy – that’s before you even consider her arsenal of divinely-commissioned weaponry. Saying that, often her downfall is when she gets those weapons turned on herself. Coming up against five lethal rivals, she might want to watch that.
Barry Allen’s supersonic speed allows him to move and think fast in combat situations. He can strike quickly and throw lightning bolts on attack, and his rapid-fire reactions help him on defence. You’ve got to catch the fastest man alive before you can defeat him.
Arthur Curry’s ability to telepathically communicate with all forms of marine life naturally gives him a stronger home field advantage, but unfortunately for him this battle royal is very much land-based. He is capable of super-human strength – but needs to keep a close eye on his dehydration levels.
Arm cannons are on the menu for Vic Stone’s adversaries. The former college athlete-turned-cybernetic reconstruction can also interact seamlessly with any technology and endlessly consumes data. We really hope he’s on an unlimited data plan.
Batman’s win-at-all-costs mentality takes him to a dark place and he convinces some of his co-workers, Cyborg, the Flash and Aquaman, to pay their dues and help him take Superman out.
The Flash causes the distraction by kidnapping Lois Lane, Cyborg slams Clark into a conveniently-placed Kryptonite-lined enclosure and Aquaman drags it to the bottom of the ocean. Goodbye Superman.
A naïve play by Aquaman. As he returns to dry land, Cyborg and The Flash are waiting for him. The Flash lines up a lightning bolt – but puts the breaks on. That would electrocute them both. Cyborg doesn’t hold back with a pair of arm cannons between Aqua’s scaly eyes. BOOM! He would have withered out anyway. Aquaman’s a gonner.
Meanwhile, Wonder Woman is furious at The Flash’s disrespect to Lois Lane, not to mention her buddy Superman being given a sea burial (he’ll be alright, he always is). Flash is stopped in his tracks by his own conscience and he’s cuffed by the Amazon’s bracelets of submission so he can think about his actions. Defeated by his own moral outlook. Such a sensitive soul. That’s The Flash out.
Aware of the Cyborg’s clout, Batman goes old school. He sets a trap for his foe, grabs a grappling gun and gets the hell out of dodge. However, Cyborg’s too smart for that – remember he did collegiate studies. He also has an advanced sensory system he uses to hunt Master Bruce down. All the bat gadgets fail because Cyborg has corrupted the data systems. Batman’s a sitting duck. Well, a sitting bat. Batman is done.
Ever the opportunist, Wonder Woman seizes her moment. Cyborg turns and summons up all his powers of digital manipulation. But that’s not so useful against the Amazon – she’s analogue.
WW lands the ‘Lasso of Truth’ over those big cybernetic guns. Cyborg starts spilling the truth, he’s ingested so much data it’s a system overload. Wonder Woman wins this superhuman scrap!
Remember kids, it’s not all about what super-powered, meta-physical armoury of weapons you have. It’s all about the strength and power of the mind. Here endeth the lesson.
The Justice League is a DC Comics, Warner Bros. production.