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Holiday Sneer: The Best Anti-Christmas Songs



A baby cries while wearing a Santa suit and surrounded by presents Hero Image Credit: H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock / Archive Photos / Getty Images

Christmas is one of those holidays that’s hard to hate. I mean, it’s got presents, togetherness, holiday cheer, and did I mention presents? Then again… There’s always the family drama that the holidays bring, as well as the rampant commercialism and, well, how sad it is when you don’t have anyone to share the mistletoe with.

What really gets annoying though is listening to the same 5 Christmas songs playing on repeat in every shopping mall sound system and office playlist (I’m looking at you, Karen). When the Christmas carols start blasting from mid-November, what can you do to protest for the protection of your eardrums?

Fight back by playing your own anti-Christmas songs. Let everyone know you’ve had it up to here with Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas is You. You can do it. We believe in you.

Soothe the grumps and blues of Christmas with our carefully curated playlist of anti-Christmas songs for your inner Scrooge.

Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley (1957)

Scrooge lyrics:

I'll have a Blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue just thinking about you

Father Christmas - The Kinks (1977)

Scrooge lyrics:

Father Christmas, give us some money
We'll beat you up if you make us annoyed

That Was the Worst Christmas Ever! - Sufjan Stevens (2006)

Scrooge lyrics:

Silent night, holy night
Silent night, nothing feels right

I Won’t Be Home for Christmas - Blink-182 (2001)

Scrooge lyrics:

It's Christmas time again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand
All year

Blue Xmas (To Whom It May Concern) - Miles Davis (1962)

Scrooge lyrics:

Blue Xmas, when you're blue at Christmastime
You see right through,
All the waste, all the sham, all the haste
And plain old bad taste

Santa Claus – The Sonics (1965)

Scrooge lyrics:

Santa Claus, won't you tell me please?
Whatcha gonna put under my Christmas tree?
And he just said
"Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing."

Christmas Celebration – Weezer (2000)

Scrooge lyrics:

Carolers are singing
Registers ka-chinging
And the presents are in place
But I'd rather eat some mace
'Cause that egg nog always makes me sick

A Christmas Carol - Tom Lehrer (1959)

Scrooge lyrics:

Hark the herald tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry, merchants,
May you make the yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy!

Yule Shoot Your Eye Out - Fall Out Boy (2003)

Scrooge lyrics:

Don't come home for Christmas
You're the last thing I want to see
Underneath the tree
Merry Christmas, I could care less

The Christmas Song - The Arrogant Worms (1992)

Scrooge lyrics:

Everyone is wearing big smiles
They all try to act nice for a while
Then George calls his in-laws viles
Christmas, Christmas is here!


Here's the full Spotify playlist:

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